Where Has the Time Gone?: June 15th

This week has just flown by! I can’t believe it is already Friday…it seems like there is some type of time warp here in Haiti. It feels like forever since I first got to GLA but at the same time I feel like I haven’t been here with my kiddos for longer than a few days. It’s really strange. Tuesday of this week, two of my favorite volunteers (and friends), left GLA and it was a hard day. I never thought I would come here and get so attached to not only the kiddos but the other people serving here as well. I miss them dearly but I feel so blessed to have met them and spent almost 3 weeks with them. I can’t wait to go to Canada and visit them soon :)

Anyways, my kiddos have been wonderful this week! They are thriving and I’m consciously soaking up every minute I have with them because I know that my time here at GLA is quickly coming to an end. We spend our days playing, giggling, and cuddling and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I miss them like crazy when we leave for home (at the Toddler house) at night. I haven’t been blogging as much this week because almost every night after dinner instead of getting on the computer I have been going up to the nurseries and playing with the kiddos in their pajamas before bed. It’s probably become one of my favorite parts of the day ha! I can’t even explain how cute they are in their jammies and they are all clean and smell good. I would literally spend all night in there if I could but I think the nannies would kick me out! I literally go from crib to crib and tickle, kiss, and cuddle the kids. It’s so fun and they are all laughing and standing up in their cribs waiting for their turn. They all blow kisses so before I leave I blow kisses to all of them and they do it to me too…it completely melts my heart. I really don’t like leaving the nurseries at night but I know that they have to go to bed at some point and I’m sure I wind them up so I try not to stay too late. I know I’ve said it a million times before…but the children here at GLA are beautiful, incredible, and SO loving. It is heartbreaking that their parents are unable to provide for them because I’m sure their deepest desire is to have them home with them and to love them the way they deserve to be loved. I know that God has a plan for each of these kiddos though. It amazes me when I think that even though I feel more love for these kids than I ever knew was possible…God loves them way more…more than any human could ever comprehend. They will never be alone or unloved because He will always be there with them…such a comforting truth.

Tonight I found out there is a satellite phone here at GLA and everyone was calling home so I decided I would too. It was really fun to talk to my family…I do miss them very much! It is crazy to think that next week is my last full week with my kiddos. I have such mixed feelings about going home. I miss my family and friends at home but I’ve become really comfortable here. Leaving my kiddos here will probably be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I don’t know what I will do without my hugs and kisses from them and I don’t know how my heart will feel when I can’t see their smiling faces every day. They mean more to me than I ever thought was possible. I know my heart will ache for them every day when I am home but I’m so thankful to be leaving them at GLA because I know they will be well cared for. Just thinking about leaving makes my heart hurt and my eyes well up…oh my! I’m glad I still have another week with the kids and the other volunteers. Every day I find another child here than I connect with and attach to and each evening I grow closer to my fellow volunteers. It is wonderful! I am excited to see everyone though when I get home…hopefully you will want to see my pictures and hear more stories in person! I’m praying for all of you at home and I hope you all have a good weekend!

Cinema Night: June 10th

Hi everyone...hope you all had a great weekend! We sure did here! Tonight was cinema night at the toddler house. This consisted of hanging a tarp outside in the yard and projecting a movie (Hop) onto it. We gathered all the toddlers/older kiddos around the tarp in their jammies and got to cuddle and watch the movie. It was really fun! There were of course tons of kiddos up and down on my lap and we didn't spend much time actually watching the movie. I didn't mind not watching the movie though because I loved having 2 whole hours to hug, kiss, and just watch these sweet children. They got to have a special treat (popcorn) with their movie and they all LOVE food so it was funny to watch them enjoy that! They do cinema night every other weekend which is really awesome because I know the kiddos enjoy being able to watch a movie and stay up late! I couldn't even keep track of how many kiddos were in my lap throughout the movie. I loved it though...it was the most fun I've ever had while watching a movie :) I'm putting a picture up of me and my friend (Michelle) with our group of kiddos after the movie!! The little man on my lap is so funny and his reactions to the movie were hilarious! The kids here are so different than any kids I have ever known. I've never met an older child (over the age of 6) who will crawl up on my lap for a significant period of time just because. Every night here there are tons of older kids who ache to be held and kissed! It is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen. Tonight during the movie an older boy (probably around 7 or 8 years old) crawled onto my lap and fell asleep in my lap. He was dead asleep...for most of the movie and I literally carried him (still asleep) to his bed after the movie. Such a special and sweet thing. I feel so blessed to be able to be here and experience these wonderful kiddos and receive the love they give. 

Love Heals: June 7th-8th

Hi everyone! I thought I would tell you about a little girl that I started working with this week and the amazing progress I have seen in her. There was an orphanage in Haiti that was closed by social services last weekend because of severe neglect and possible abuse. 23 kiddos from the orphanage came to GLA…most of the children were over the age of 3 so they went to the toddler house to receive intense nourishment and care. 2 toddlers and a baby were brought from the orphanage to the baby house. The children from the orphanage were all malnourished and many of them had respiratory and skin infections. They are all as sweet as can be and they adore being loved on.

Over the past week we have really gotten to know most of the new kiddos at the toddler house but the 3 at the baby house were “isolated” in a separate nursery so we hadn’t really even seen them until this week. Dixie (the founder of GLA) asked us (volunteers) to start gradually bringing up the two toddlers from the isolation room. My friend and I brought the two girls up for the first day and the littlest one (the one I picked up) cried when I picked her up and arched away from me. It was so sad...she was afraid. The only adults she had ever known had not protected and cared for her but had neglected and hurt her. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to never have anyone to trust…especially as a small and innocent child? It is heartbreaking. I can’t imagine how hard her life has been. After that day I became determined to work with this beautiful little girl every day and help her to trust and feel loved. The second day I brought her up to the balcony she cried but for a shorter period of time and then she nuzzled her sweet little head into my shoulder and wrapped her arms and legs around my body and I just held her. I sang to her and just talked softly to her…hoping to calm her fears. After about an hour of holding her I put her back in her crib and as I was leaving she smiled at me! A small and tentative smile but a smile nonetheless! Last night I went into the room to visit her again and I got to feed her dinner! It was really sweet because she sat there with wide eyes, expectantly waiting for her dinner. I would give her a spoonful and she would open her mouth and eat it right up and smile. It MELTED my heart. She probably is still getting used to consistently having meals here at GLA as compared to her previous experience at the other orphanage.

After she ate dinner I was also able to rub lotion on her and give her a little massage which when I asked her if she liked it she nodded her sweet head and smiled. I’m in love with this girl…she is beautiful and perfect and I don’t understand how anyone could ever neglect her. I’m thrilled to be able to work with her for the remainder of my time here at GLA. I really hope I can make her feel safe and loved (for what may be the first time in her life). I am always tempted to just take her back to the toddler house with me and keep her with me every minute because I know she needs that kind of one on one attention…but the nannies here are working with her too and I know it is best for her to stay with the other children from the same orphanage. Please pray for this sweet baby girl…pray that her pain from any wounds (external or internal) will be healed quickly with the love, care, and protection provided here at GLA. Pray that she will open up to me and that she will begin to trust me and other adults here at GLA. I know that God brought her to GLA for protection and for a purpose! I will post a picture of her as soon as I can…she is so incredibly beautiful! Love you all.

The Best Kind of Heartache: June 4th-6th

Hi everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful week. I feel 100% better this week…my sickness is completely gone and my energy level is higher than it has been throughout this entire trip. Praise God! Thank you again for all the prayers, love, and support. I can feel His hands on me here and I know that it is because so many of you have lifted me up in prayer. I love it and all of you so much!

My kids are amazing…thank you all for praying for them as well. Watching them grow, trust, love, and learn is so beautiful. My little man who started walking last week is really starting to get the hang of it now. He has walked across the balcony a dozen times and he totally knows how he just decides when he wants to do it! I love the big smile he gets on his face when I clap for him and hug him after he has walked…it never gets old! He loves to be held and snuggled…and he is very attached to me. He loves bubbles, swinging, and being thrown up in the air! He can be a stinker though…he doesn’t like it if I’m holding any of the other kiddos up on the balcony and he can throw quite the fit ha! His smile is contagious though and his giggle warms me from my head to my toes. You would all love him.

My twins are continuing to blossom as well. Their personalities are very different. One is very independent, loving, and easy to get to smile. The other twin is more reserved, quiet, and prefers to be attached to my hip (of course I don’t mind this at all!). Both of them have opened up so much since the first day I met them. They were both pretty much silent for the first week or so that I knew them but now they “talk” all the time! I’m trying to teach them small words (swing, jump, and smile) but they communicate pretty well just by blabbering and pointing to things they want. They both love to swing, play in the pool, jump, dance, and read books. I absolutely love watching them come out of their shells. I’ve gotten full blown giggles and tons of smiles from them this week. Each giggle and smile is so precious to me when I think that just 2 weeks ago one of the twins cried whenever I tried to pick her up. We also took them on a walk this week which was fun…we walked to get juice from a street vendor (they of course loved the juice!). They don’t normally wear shoes in the orphanage so it took both of them a few minutes to adjust to the feeling of shoes ha! We all got a few laughs from watching them toddle around. They both did really well on the walk though…they’re the sweetest little girls and I love them both so much.

My other little man is doing very well too! He is really getting good at holding his head up and he doesn’t dislike tummy time as much as he did 2 weeks ago! He is so handsome and his toothless grin kills me. I love picking him up from his crib because when I stick my head over the side of the crib so he can see me he gets this surprised look on his face and then he just breaks out into the biggest smile and starts kicking his legs and waving his arms. I need to video it one of these days so I can always remember it! He is the most easy going kid I have ever met…always happy and smiling. His eyes are beautiful and when I talk to him I really feel like he listens ha! I love to hold him on my chest and sing/talk to him. He loves to lie on his back or in my arms and play with rattles or any toy he can chew on. This little guy is such a blessing to me!

My littlest guy is still just as sweet as he can be. He is really smiley for how little he is he loves to snuggle. He is cooing a lot and he loves to be sang/talked to. Most of the time when I bring him up to the balcony he will fall asleep on me…such a wonderful feeling. I love kissing his chubby cheeks and making him smile!

My little baby girl (who wasn’t doing so well earlier in my trip) is doing so much better! Last week she had to have a feeding tube and she was lethargic and couldn’t leave the NICU. This week I was able to bring her up to the balcony for short periods of time and she was a completely different baby. She is tiny but so beautiful. She smiles a lot and not with just her mouth…she smiles with her whole face. I love it! She also loves her fingers and sucks her thumb (which is so adorable to me). I’m really excited to get to spend more time with her! Thank you so much for the prayers for her. She is doing so much better! Her eyes are wide open when I go in to the NICU to talk to her and she responds to me…God is definitely healer!

My heart aches for all of the kids at GLA…but it is the most perfect kind of ache. I’m getting to know all of kids, not just the kiddos I specifically work with. Every single one of the kids here has a way of stealing my heart and I wish I could give each of them the amount of love they deserve every day.

I am continuously amazed by what love and trust can do for these kiddos. Love and trust give them the courage to open up and live freely. It makes me think about how free and courageous I feel because I know/feel God’s love and trust His plan for my life. I feel so incredibly free here. It’s hard to explain, but for some reason I don’t feel as weighed down by fear or anxiety about the direction of my life. I feel at peace here. The first week and a half was a lot harder than I let on…I missed home a lot. This week it has been different. I still miss you all but I don’t ache to BE home. My heart desires to be here completely. It’s a wonderful feeling…but I think leaving will be much more difficult now.

I am so blessed to be able to be here with these kiddos. They are helping me just as much (if not more) as I am helping them. Thank you so much to everyone who supported/prayed for me and made this trip possible…I cannot explain how much this journey has meant to me already. 

This verse has been on my heart this week…so much so that I wrote it down and put it next to my bed so I can read it every night and morning. I thought I would share it with you…love you all.

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Sickness and Health: June 3rd

What a weekend! I went to bed on Friday night (after writing my blog) around 11:45 p.m. I woke up at 12:30 a.m. and became violently ill. I’m not sure what kind of bug I had but I haven’t been that sick in a long time. From around 12:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. I was awake with a high fever and a horrible stomach bug. I couldn’t keep anything down and my stomach physically hurt. I was quite miserable. Luckily, I had the best nurses ever (my fellow volunteersJ) they pushed fluids on me…did my laundry so I could have clean clothes to wear…and checked on me constantly. They hugged me and made me smile even though I felt like I was dying ha! I still really missed my mom and home though. I caved and texted my mom early in the morning on Saturday and told her how awful I felt…I feel bad because I probably worried her too much but it felt good to talk to her. It doesn’t matter how old I am…when I feel that sick I will probably always want my mom. Thankfully, I was able to sleep for a few hours in the afternoon and my fever broke in the evening. One of my sweet friends made me a little macaroni and cheese which I actually was able to keep down around 9:00 p.m. on Sunday. I don’t feel 100% today but I feel much better than I did yesterday. It is like night and day. I know I’m still dehydrated though so I’m trying to drink twice as much water and I haven’t been eating too much…trying to take it easy for awhile. I kind of over did it today I think but it was the last day for one of my friends here so I really wanted to spend lots of time with her and the rest of the volunteers. I can take it a little easier tomorrow. I’m excited to see my kids though because I didn’t get to see any of them on Saturday and today I only got to see one.

This brings me to the highlight of my day…after church we were hanging out at the main house and we went up to the balcony to get pictures for Hope (the volunteer who is leaving tomorrow morning). I didn’t feel 100% up to getting my kiddos out (it was SUCH a hot day and I didn’t know if chasing around a little one was really the best idea for me J) but one of the other volunteers randomly decided to bring my little guy up who I have been working on walking with. He was of course thrilled to be up on the balcony and when he saw me he stuck out his hand (it is like his special greeting he does with me whenever I come to pick him up out of his crib) and got the biggest grin on his face. He reached for me so the other volunteer just put him down on his feet (she thought he was a walker) and the most amazing thing happened. He WALKED to me…like it was no big deal at all he toddled across the room to me. My arms were wide open for him but I almost didn’t believe that he had done it. Suddenly we were all shrieking and screaming with excitement…he had finally taken his first legitimate steps and gotten to a specific destination ME. I was so deeply touched…my eyes welled up and I started to cry ha! My little guy not only recognized me on the balcony but he wanted me to hold him so much that he WALKED! I totally understand why mothers cry when their kids reach developmental milestones. It was such an amazing moment. I still can’t get over it. He also made us all clap and laugh later in the afternoon when he blew kisses for the first time. I have been trying to get him to do it all week and then all of a sudden this afternoon he does it to me and all the girls out of nowhere! This little man is absolutely incredible…I love him so much! I didn’t think he could steal my heart any more than he already had…but boy was I wrong. He really helped me feel even better today! What a blessing. Love and miss you all!

New Friends and Goodbyes: June 1st

It has been a busy and fun week here at GLA! Sorry I haven’t updated in a few days…I’ve been having a great time and my days are so filled that I sometimes find it hard to sit down at my computer. Today we said goodbye to the adoptive mother (and her friends) that we met at the beginning of the week. It is amazing how well you can get to know someone when you spend 9 hours a day with them for a week! We were all so sad to see her leave but it was a joy to have met her and hear her story. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for her to leave GLA and back to the states...knowing her baby girl will not be able to come home with her for another 6-12 months. Seeing her say goodbye to her baby and cry as she was leaving was an extremely emotional moment for all of us volunteers. Her story will have a happy ending though…we are all praying the adoption process is quick and she will be taking her sweet girl home before Christmas! It is amazing how emotional this journey has been already…I feel God moving in my heart here so much more than anywhere else I have ever been.

Another exciting part of this week is the friendships that I have begun to develop with the other volunteers here. I’m starting to feel very comfortable with them and the more I get to know them the more I love them! They are extremely inspirational women and being around them lifts me up so much. As I have begun to get to know them and bond with them, I realize again how wonderful and perfect God’s plan for my life is. He put Haiti/GLA on my heart and He brought these women here at the exact same time as well. It is no accident that we connect so deeply and that they model excellent discipleship for me. God intended for this to happen…He knew my need for strong Christian friendship and He provided, knowing they would help me grow in my faith. CRAZY AMAZING! It blows my mind. I sat up talking with two of the girls tonight for a few hours about faith and trusting God…they are so wise and it was one of the best conversations I have had ever. They prayed over me before we went to bed and I cried so hard because of how touching their words were and how grateful I am for God’s love. I know He loves me and He is jealous for me. He is definitely using this trip to draw me closer to Him.

Anyways, I really wish that I could bring these girls home with me…I know that we will always be connected by this incredible experience and the short but special time we have spent together…but I am still incredibly sad to say that all four of these wonderful ladies will be leaving by the end of this next week. So I plan on spending most of my nights bonding with them and soaking up their love for God and their knowledge of Him. It will be a rough and emotional week for me as I say goodbye to them…but I know it will only be a temporary goodbye! Please say a prayer for them as they travel. Love you all!

Short Kiddo Update: May 29th

Today (Tuesday) was an AMAZING day for me and my kids! My 1 year old little man (in the picture below) took his first step!!!! He isn’t too fond of walking or trying to walk because crawling is easier and works just fine for him. But today I had something he wanted and I was trying to get him walk with me but he let go of my fingers and took one step toward the water bottle by me! It was so fun to see him make this milestone! Of course I couldn’t get him to do it again but I really think he will be walking before I leave. I’m so optimistic about what I can help my kids achieve while I’m here…it’s so good for us to work on developmental skills with them so that they won’t be behind when they are adopted. Another bit of exciting news…my sweet little twin who normally cries when I pick her up…RAN into my arms today. She was so excited to see me I could have cried! She sat on my lap the entire 2 hours she was on the balcony and I just read to her and talked to her. It was so special J Also, the twins aren’t big smilers…the volunteers who have been here for 5 weeks said they have never seen either of them smile and I got both of them to smile for me today! It was only one smile each but it’s a start! We’re getting to know each other over here and I can’t wait to continue. I’m grateful I’m going to be here for an extended amount of time rather than a 1 or 2 week trip because I’ll be able to build solid relationships and hopefully make some substantial progress with these kiddos! Hope you all are well and that you had a good Memorial Day weekend full of relaxation J I’m mostly only homesick at night when I’m typing these and thinking of all of you, haha! Love you all!!

Adoption: May 28th

  Today (Monday) was the beginning of my first full week with my kids. It was a really cool morning which made the hike to the main house much more enjoyable! Walking to the main house is a special way to start the morning because it’s relatively quiet on the streets and the views here are really spectacular. I was really excited to spend more time with my kids today. I want to earn their trust and love by spending quality time with them. I think spending time interacting with them and watching them is the best way to get to know each of their sweet souls. All of my kiddos are all so well behaved and adorable! They really enjoy exploring on the balcony. They each have their assigned crib (often for the smaller kiddos they share a crib space with one other child) and besides the time we spend with them on the balcony and their meal times they hang out in their cribs. So when it is their turn for balcony time the kids are so excited and anxious! I have several kids in the same nursery rooms and as soon as they see me come in they all give me expectant puppy eyes and I turn to mush every time! They totally have me wrapped around their little fingers J If it isn’t their turn to come up to the balcony they get sad and cry but I go over and kiss their sweet faces and tell them I’ll be back. It breaks my heart to disappoint them. But I think my older kiddos at least know that I’ll come and get them at some point throughout the day.

Even kiddos who aren’t assigned to me reach out and beg to come with me when I’m picking my kids up from the nurseries. All of the volunteers try to bring up at least one or two kids a day who don’t have a volunteer assigned to them, so that all the kids can get special time on the balcony. I’m telling you it would melt your heart how loving these kids are. Almost every single one of them will let you snuggle them and kiss them...they have no fear of strangers; they just openly love anyone who will love them back. It is the biggest blessing to be able to give them the attention and love they crave. My heart is so full here…it’s amazing! Now I said almost all the kiddos aren’t afraid of strangers because one of my twins has a significant fear of new people…I mean can you blame her. Most kids back home would be so afraid if there were strangers coming into their rooms and taking them away from their moms! She is a cutie but she isn’t quite sure how she feels about me yet…her twin sister comes to me easily but she runs to her nanny and cries when I try to pick her up. Today she didn’t cry but she did run to her nanny…progress!!! I bring her and her sister both up to the balcony at the same time because it’s fun for them to play together plus I think it reassures them. They’re the calmest kids I’ve ever met. They love to be read to, snuggled, and pushed in the swings. I really enjoy spending time with them! My three other kids were also so fun to play with today! I caught some good pictures of them J Everyone except for the twins fell asleep in my arms today…it rained in the afternoon and got pretty muggy so I think they were all tired from the heat and from playing hard. Unfortunately, my one sweet baby girl is still sick and in the NICU getting treatment. I went in to see her today and she was sleeping so I didn’t disturb her but she is such a doll. If you guys could all pray for her I’d really appreciate it. She came to GLA as a 2lb preemie so she is a miracle baby and she has been through a lot already! I just hope she feels better soon…poor sweet girl.

One of the best parts of today was getting to meet the adoptive mother of one of the kiddos here at GLA. The adoptive mom (with two of her friends) came to GLA to meet her baby girl and start the adoption process in Haiti. It was one of the most beautiful things ever to watch her interact with her daughter for the first time. It was so touching I can’t even begin to describe the joy that was radiating from the mother. She loved her immediately…the bond was formed instantly and it will last a lifetime. Beautiful! She told us her story…she had visited Haiti multiple times and had actually been to GLA before (she unknowingly held her daughter when she was just a newborn…such a God thing!) and she felt God place adoption on her heart. So amazing! Even though the adoption process is complicated and expensive…I know that it is worthwhile when I see her talk to her little girl and tell her she loves her. I was moved beyond words…I hope I get to witness more of these meetings. I never truly understood the appeal of adoption…but now I understand. You not only get a child to love and care for but you also get the joy of saving/changing a life. I know adoption will forever be on my heart after this experience!

P.S. This verse is on the balcony walls and I love it so I thought I’d share it with you…Matthew 19:14 “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”

First Sunday: May 27th

Today (Sunday) was a very relaxing and enjoyable day. I woke up fairly early and sat on the porch this morning. The view from my porch is amazing and so beautiful! I got to listen to Haitian church and the older kids singing their worship songs! I decided to go to the GLA church service this week but I think next week I’m going to check out the Haitian service as well! The GLA service is held on the balcony…such a beautiful view for worshipping God J We then had a big lunch with everyone who came to the service and just sat around and talked. The entire afternoon we played with the kiddos…which was nice because it seemed like we hadn’t seen them in such a long time. They were all excited to get out of their cribs and play on the balcony and I loved just playing with them and kissing them! After dinner we went back to the Toddler house and played with the older kids for awhile. At one point I had 5 or 6 kids trying to climb on me. I’ll have to get a picture of it because it is really adorable. They all just want to be noticed and smiled at! Even the older kids love our attention…it’s very sweet and endearing. I ended the night by reading my book (The Scarlet Thread) which I love! I will probably be up way too late reading it but it's just too good to put down! I've been sleeping like a rock here. I get so tired from the heat and that walking that I usually fall asleep around 8:00 p.m. I haven't gone to bed that early in years! It feels good though...I think I'm making up sleep I lost from my college years :) That is pretty much all from today…it was a really nice way to end the week! I can't wait to start my first full week with my  kids!

Beach Day: May 26th

Today, Saturday, the GLA staff took us to a private beach 3 hours away from the orphanage! The GLA staff only takes this beach trip once a year and they don’t always take volunteers, so we felt very privileged to be able to go! We left GLA around 6:00 a.m. and started the trek to the coast. One of the staff members, George, and his wife drove us in a van. I was so glad we were able to ride with George because he is a funny guy and a good driver! He and his wife also know a lot of history about Haiti which also made the trip interesting. I thought I’d be able to sleep on the drive but the roads were very bad for the majority of the trip. Plus we drove through some really interesting parts of Haiti so it was impossible to sleep because I just wanted to take in everything.

Once we got out of Port Au Prince we drove through a more wealthy area of Haiti. Honestly, it didn’t look that much different from Port Au Prince to me, but there were less people on the streets and the goods being sold on the side of the road seemed nicer. We then drove through a much poorer area of Haiti where tent cities were still located. Tent cities are literally just huge areas of tents that Haitians live in now after their homes had been destroyed in the earthquake. Some of the tents consisted of tin but still the enclosures were small and they looked very ragged. It breaks my heart knowing that even though the earthquake occurred in 2010, Haitian families continue to live in these tent cities. I couldn’t imagine living in a tent for 2 years…let alone living in a tent with small children or elderly people.

 It is so unfortunate and unfair that in Haiti there are so many people living in extreme poverty, while a very tiny portion of the population lives in excess. How does a Haitian child stand a chance without food, water, or parents? Even with the basic necessities (food, water, and love) how can these children be expected to break the cycle of poverty when they have no opportunities or resources to further their education or obtain a decent job? GLA is doing an amazing thing for many of these children by protecting and nurturing them and connecting them with families who can provide the love and opportunities they so deserve. They also help prevent poverty by providing excellent paying job opportunities for the Haitian community. Despite the awesome ministry GLA is providing in Haiti, there are still many more children and families who need help. My heart aches for them…I wish there was a way to quickly heal Haiti and stop the cycle of poverty; but I know that it is not that easy and it will take time for Haiti to recover and thrive. I know God is in control…I pray that He will put the children/orphans of Haiti in the hearts of more people worldwide so that more people will feel called to serve here. Haiti is just so different than the United States...I can’t even begin to explain how different it is. I am beginning to realize that I take so much for granted in the U.S. I’ve never completely understood how blessed we are to have been born into a free country with ample opportunities until now. Even though our healthcare system is very flawed…I am so grateful for it now that I have seen Haiti. If someone had a heart attack in the U.S. they would be immediately treated and taken to the nearest hospital by ambulance. If someone had a heart attack in Haiti…there may not be anyone around with a phone…the ambulance probably wouldn’t be able to get to person even if they were called…and health insurance is too expensive to afford so most Haitians could not afford to be treated even if they made it to the hospital. It is very sad…but I know God has more in store for Haiti than this and I know He will use His people to revive Haiti.

 Anyways, I got sidetracked from the original purpose of this entry. We went to the beach for the entire day…it was a private beach club. It was interesting to see the difference between the Haitians visiting the beach club and the Haitians I had seen a day earlier. Honestly I felt pretty guilty for being at the beach while in Haiti but all the staff members at GLA deserve a break once a year and it was a really good time! I got badly sunburned though. I think I may have 2^nd degree burns on my shoulders…they look really bad and blistery and hurt miserably when anything touches them. I’ll survive though…nothing a little aloe and a lot of solarcaine can’t cure. Haiti has a very beautiful ocean though and I took some amazing pictures of it. Some of the GLA staff members were talking about how people should vacation to these beach clubs in Haiti to stimulate the economy. Some of the volunteers I was with said the beach/ocean in Haiti was even more beautiful than Hawaii. The water was clear and sparkly…the only issue with vacationing in Haiti would be the airport…maybe once they get that fixed we could sell the idea better J

   I’ll end this entry by sharing a story and one of the thoughts I had on the drive home from the beach. As we were driving through a very busy and poor area of Haiti on the way home from the beach there was a little boy (he couldn’t have been more than 7 years old) wiping down cars as they passed by for money. He started to clean our car but none of us had cash on us so we told him to stop but he wouldn’t…he just kept trying to clean. George explained to us that these little boys were managed by either an older group of children or adults and they were severely punished if they did not bring in enough money at the end of the day. Punishments often ranged from not getting dinner to being beaten. We gave the boy some food we had in the car but I was still worried about his safety. I’ve been trying to pray for him every night. Can you imagine being a child forced to work and being severely punished if you did not produce enough? I sure can’t. What a scary and dark way to live. I know that things like this happen everywhere but it still blows my mind whenever I see it.

Being so tenderhearted has major disadvantages when it comes to this journey…everything gets to me much more than I imagined it would. I think I will toughen up eventually. I imagine that if I had been born in Haiti, my life would have been considerably different than it is right now. I don’t understand how God decides where a child will be born and what family they will be born into…but I believe that God has a plan for each and every child here in Haiti and I pray that He will watch over and care for every last one of them. Thanks for all the love and prayers…I miss you all!

First Day with the Kiddos: May 25th

Today (Friday) was my first day doing the regular volunteer schedule. I woke up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated after my day of traveling and I was really excited to meet the 6 kids I will be working with for the entirety of my stay. The other volunteers informed me that normally our days start at 8:00 a.m. and end at 4:45 with a lunch break from 12:00-1:00 p.m. My first day was a special day though because every Friday we do “Feelings Friday” which consists of a homemade breakfast and reflecting on the week. Feelings Friday is held at a GLA staff members home just about a mile away from the house we are living in. The other volunteers and I put on our hiking sandals and walked the very steep roads from our house to the staff members’ house. The other volunteers said that they were surprised how well I did walking the steep roads with no traction because they said most people trip and fall for the first week or so. I’m sure I will fall at some pointJ! It was beautiful to get out and enjoy the cool morning air and to interact with all the Haitian people setting up their booths on the side of the road! Most of the Haitian people are very interested in American (or any “blanco/white” person they see) and we get a lot of stares, smiles, and waves as we walk. Haitians stand on the side of the road and sell a variety of things including mangos, cookies, cereals, bananas, clothes, and knick knacks. Haiti is very tropical and there are many coconut, banana, and mango trees around. After we walk to the house to do Feelings Friday I am introduced to more volunteers who will be leaving today, which is sad, but it was really fun to listen to their week long experiences and how they feel their trip changed them. I also got to meet more staff members, a couple, and hear their testimony about what made them decide to relocate their family to Haiti. It was an awesome story and as I was listening I realized that if God wants you to be somewhere He will provide all you need to fulfill His will and He will definitely give you signs. After this discussion I really began to comprehend how much the staff at GLA has to sacrifice every day to provide these orphans with a safe and loving environment and it made me appreciate their presence immensely. After feelings Friday we walked to the main house and I was given my list of 6 kiddos. This list included their name, age, background, and developmental items to work on with them. One of the staff members, named HollyJ, showed me each of the kids and gave me a tour of the nurseries. Each time we went into a different nursery all the kids would instantly light up and get excited because they crave love and one on one attention. The nannies at GLA do a great job but they are under staffed as there are over 60 children in the orphanage currently. Most of these children are under the age of 10. That is where the volunteers come in, GLA needs volunteers to give each of the children special one on one time everyday and provide them with the love and hugs they all need and want. Most of these kiddos should be at the stage where they have an intense fear of strangers but they all reach out and show you their best smiles. It is so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. Anyways, the staff member handed me my first little guy who is around 6 months old. He immediately lit up and showed off his toothless grin. Honestly, the moment he smiled I was hooked. It’s amazing how easily love for a child can come. I carried him up to the balcony and he was cooing, drooling, and smiling the whole way. The balcony is the area that we take the kids to play. It has a beautiful view of the mountains and trees and tons of toys! We spend an hour to an hour and a half with each of our kiddos every day. I was so thrilled to play with him that I didn’t know what to do first. His sheet said he needed to work on tummy time and head control so we played on a mat and got to know one another J He is the sweetest little man and he smiles at the drop of a hat. He has a little tuft of hair and it’s so soft and he loves to have his head rubbed! His belly is super ticklish along with his chin and his giggle is contagious. I enjoyed every last minute with him and I was so sad to take him back to his crib. He cried a little when I put him down but I promised to come back and this elicited another smile from his sweet face! I got to spend another hour with him later in the day because I had extra time and he has a diaper rash so it helps to give him as much time on the balcony as possible so that he can air out. My second kiddo is about 2 months old and he is still in the NICU since he is still a young baby. Everyone told me he is super sweet and a smiley baby so I was really excited to play with him. Most of his needs revolve around one on one cuddle time and making eye contact and talking to him. He absolutely loves to be talked to and no matter what you say his chubby cheeks curl up and he smiles. I talked to him for most of the time and then I held him to my chest to help him practice head control. I could tell I was wearing him out after about 45 minutes so at the end I cradled him in my arms and he fell right to sleep. I kissed his chubby little cheeks and reluctantly put him down! Seriously these kids are so sweet and happy that they just pull on your heart strings. After lunch I took my third kiddo a little 1 year old boy on a walk with the other volunteers. He has the best smile I have ever seen in my life and he is such a lover. As much as he loves to play with his toys he also loves to be right on my lap and hold on to my neck. I’m supposed to help him learn to walk but since we ended up going on a significantly long walk…we all ended up carrying our kiddos most of the way! But that was ok because he was blabbering in my ear about the motorcycles and trucks that we say and his eyes would light up anytime a big truck or van drove by. He is such a bundle of joy! We walked a very far way…in the middle of the afternoon so we were all dying of heat (especially me since it was my first day and I hadn’t acclimated to the heat yet!) but we wanted to buy some mangos. We got 8 mangos for 2 US dollars! A crazy deal and they were really delicious. We trekked back home and drank water and ate mangos with the kids. By that time my little guy was getting very sleepy so he relaxed in my arms and fell asleep. It’s the best feeling in the world to hold a sleeping child! My fourth kiddo is a twin and about 2 years old. She has the chubby cheeks and large beautiful eyes and as soon as I walked in the room to find her and called her name she came running to me and let me pick her up. She is a very quiet little girl and she doesn’t always smile but when she does it is so adorable! She wanted to sit in my lap and play with the toys and read books so I cuddled and played with her and got to know her a little bit. Her twin sister is my fifth kiddo but when I went to get her she was fast asleep so I decided not to wake her. My sixth kiddo is a sweet little baby girl but she was sick on Friday so she was one on one with the nurse. I hear she is such a sweetheart and lover so I’m thrilled to meet her on Monday! The day flew by because of how much fun I had with the kids. They are so tenderhearted and sweet and they just want love and attention. It is heartbreaking to think that their parents were sick or unable to care for them because they bring such joy to everything. I hope to really get to know these kiddos (and the many of the other kids as well) over the next 4.5 weeks and earn their trust and love. I won’t type this much normally…I’ve never had a blog before so hopefully it’s not terribly boring. I just wanted you to get a sense of each of the kids and I will update you all on their progress and post pictures as soon as I can! Please pray for each of these kiddos here at GLA. Pray that loving families will adopt them, pray for their health, pray for their hearts to be cheerful in all circumstances, and pray for their futures. Three of my kids are in the process of being adopted but the U.S. makes the process time consuming and difficult so pray that these adoptions will happen as quickly as possible so that these children’s families can have them home. After playing with the kids most of the day the rest of the volunteers and I cleaned the balcony where we take the kids to play. We started this around 3:30 p.m. and it was very hot as we were lifting, bending, wiping, and sweeping. We were all exhausted and dehydrated by the time we finished! I felt much better after drinking ice water at dinner (we usually only get ice in our drinks at dinner time and it is such a treat!) and I decided to join the volunteers and a few other staff members on a trip in town to the store. Little did I know what our travel vehicle would be ha! It was the same truck I rode in from the airport to GLA but there were around 10 of us going and the truck only seats 3 people. They told us to hop in the back of the truck (which thankfully had an iron enclosure) and sit on the wooden benches. At first I was really excited to travel in the back of a truck because the majority of Haitian passengers ride in the open back of vehicles and I figured we would probably get a good cool breeze going. Well, as we started the trip we realized how bumpy it was going on the horrible roads in the back of the truck. We all started sitting down but after one huge bump that threw me up against the iron enclosure (my back still kind of hurts J) we all decided to stand and hold on for dear life. Standing proved to be a much better idea but I still fell a few times. We were all giggling and joking though and I’m sure we proved to be quite the spectacle as we drove into town! There were a few times we all had to duck quickly because of low power lines and we all quickly became very aware of our surroundings! Although it was a very fun and adventurous ride, I was very thankful when we hopped out of the truck at the grocery store! The grocery store was similar to something you would see in a big city in the U.S. It was small and only carried the necessities but it was funny to look around and see what foods/brands they had from the U.S. Anytime we go somewhere it feels like we are movie stars or something because most of the Haitian people stare at us and want to say hi. I’ve never had so many people be so interested in me before J My first day at GLA was a success I’d have to say! I can tell that this experience is going to be memorable and life changing! Love you all!

Traveling Adventures: May 24th

Hi everyone! I arrived safe and sound at God’s Littlest Angels on Thursday (May 24^th). My traveling experience was quite interesting and exhausting to say the least. I left for Chicago Wednesday evening so that I wouldn’t have to wake up so early to catch my plane that left at 6:00 a.m. My sweet friend Colleen let me stay at her house and graciously agreed to drive me to the airport at 3:30 a.m. I arrived in Chicago around 8:45 p.m. on Wednesday evening and we were able to get some dinner before attempting to sleep. I say “attempting” because I was wide awake that night and I probably only got about a half an hour of sleep before heading to O’Hare to catch my plane. I was very nervous to be traveling internationally and especially because I was traveling alone. The combination of sleep deprivation and anxiety led to me being overly emotional as I was saying goodbye to poor Colleen! I cried for a minutes to Colleen and then I realized I needed to get going in order to make it through the check-in and security processes before 6:00 a.m. I waited in the check-in line (for what seemed like forever) and prayed that the process would not be too time consuming. I was really surprised by how many travelers were at the airport at 4:00 a.m. and I was beginning to question if the small number of airport staff could handle the large volume when the airport seemed like it officially opened and flocks of additional staff came to speed up the check-in and security process. After what seemed like hours of standing and waiting I finally finished checking in and made it through security with almost a half an hour to spare! This was wonderful because I was able to get a drink and leisurely find my terminal. I was very blessed on my first flight from Chicago to Newark because I had the entire row of seats to myself and I was able to stretch out and take a nice nap. I also got to sit behind a young couple and their two daughters which was a joy because I got to play with the two cute little girls while I was awake. The flight to Newark was slightly delayed and by the time I had gotten off the plane I had about 30 minutes to find my next terminal. This really stressed me out because I really love to be significantly early places rather than cutting it close. Luckily, I followed the signs and stayed calm and found the terminal around 10 minutes before take-off. As I boarded the plane I realized I was 1 of 5 people on the plane who were not Haitian. Everyone was noisily speaking Creole and French and I was officially overwhelmed. To make matters worse as we were boarding the flight attendants told us there was no more room for carry-on luggage and that anything that couldn’t fit under the seat in front of you had to be checked immediately. My carry on was of course to bulky to be stowed under the seat so it was taken from me and thrown into a nearby luggage carrier. I watched it specifically be thrown and then remembered I had put my computer in that bag. Ha. I was going to get upset about it but I decided that maybe one of the things God wants to teach me on this trip is flexibility and peacefulness!! (Obviously my computer survived, praise God J) Once on the plane and looking for my seat these traits were tested again. A Haitian man was in my seat and I quickly realized he did not speak English and that he was very comfortable in the aisle seat. As many of you probably know I tend to get nauseous and claustrophobic on airplanes and therefore I love the aisle seat because it gives me more space and allows me to walk around easier. I thought that maybe this older gentleman maybe had the same issue so I decided to let him have my seat and I would just sit next to him but then I realized someone else (I later found out it was his grandson) was sitting in the middle and that I would be forced to squish past both of these men to get to my seat. I think the grandson could see past my brave smile and he sweetly offered to sit in the window seat and let me have the middle. He spoke a little bit of English and he proved to be a great seat buddy because he knew a lot about Haiti and helped me fill out my customs paperwork. Although I enjoyed his company, I was so incredibly thankful when the four hour flight was over and we touched down in Port Au Prince. Little did I know that my adventure had not even started!!! When we touched down in Port Au Prince airport, mass chaos seemed to erupt and I just followed the crowds of people onto a bus. The airport was very much damaged in the earthquake and because of this they created a warehouse type building to temporarily use until the airport could be reconstructed. I was told by my driver that they expect the airport construction to be finished next summer but until then the airport experience can be pretty hairy (especially for American travelers). Anyways, the bus transported us to the warehouse building where we went through customs. It pretty much consisted of me giving my paperwork and passport to a government worker and having them stamp my passport. Then came the fun part…finding my luggage. This was the most bizarre and stressful experience I have had in quite some time. Hundreds of people crowded around the two luggage belts and attempted to find their bags. To add to the chaos, there were dozens of Haitian men wanting to help me and all the other travelers with their luggage (at a very steep price) so while looking for my luggage I had to duck and dodge and continuously repeat “No Merci.” I waited and waited for my luggage to appear but I couldn’t make my way up to the actual luggage belt so I stretched and strained my neck trying to find them. Thankfully, my cousin who has visited Haiti before warned me to place unique identifying objects on my luggage in order to make it easier to find. After about 30 minutes I finally saw my first piece of luggage. I was so ecstatic I could have cried…but I was still too far away from the luggage belt to reach it. So I helplessly watched it pass by me and felt the heat and exhaustion overcome me. (I forgot to mention the airport did not have air conditioning and felt like a million degrees!) Then, something so amazing happened…an older gentleman saw my misty eyes and pulled my cart and my arm up next to him. He didn’t speak English but he pointed at my bag that was drifting away and made a circular motion with his hands to show me that the luggage would come back around. I figured that he wanted to help me with my luggage for a crazy price but at this point I was so tired that I decided it would be worth it. He pulled my first bag off and smiled widely at me while pointing to the fuzzy purple yarn that identified my bags. He then quickly found my other two bags and placed them on the cart. I was so relieved and thanked him profusely. I pulled out my wallet to pay him and he pushed it away and smiled at me. I could have hugged him and kissed him right at that moment and even though we could not deeply communicate with one another I hope that my facial expression let him know how thankful I was for his generosity and kindness. I knew right then and there that I had in fact not been traveling alone the whole time, God had been keeping a tight watch on me throughout that day and I knew that He would continue to do so throughout my experience in Haiti. After the airport experience I made my way outside to the busy streets of Port Au Prince. Thankfully, the orphanage (GLA) had someone waiting with a sign with my name on it…such a blessed relief! We headed to the orphanage through the busy streets and I realized that driving in Haiti was going to be an interesting experience all by itself. The roads are crowded with people and cars and most of the vehicles have over double the capacity of passengers as recommended. I was in an air-conditioned truck which was reassuring because we felt big and high up and even though my driver was very careful…I still almost had a heart attack as we headed up the mountain the first time. The roads are a disaster and there are potholes that my car could easily fit into and there is no traction on the roads because of all the rain. The roads are also extremely steep…almost vertical. It is literally like riding on a roller coaster every time we go somewhere. At the orphanage the only cars they have are 4WD and manual which allows them to maneuver them smoothly but it is still a crazy experience. The roads are also very narrow so when cars are passing each other it is so tight that it seems like you’re going to scratch each other (many of the vehicles do have scratches and bumps). The narrowness also becomes an issue when cars get impatient and pass one another…I don’t want to go into too much detail (and scare my dad J) but let’s just say people really use their horns around here and pedestrians have absolutely no right away. I was extremely relieved (to say the least) when we arrived at the orphanage (which is about half way up the mountain) after about an hour of driving. I arrived at the orphanage around 5:00 Haiti time which was just in time for dinner. I met the rest of the volunteers (who are all very sweet and around my age) and we ate dinner which was great because I was starving! We had rice, chicken, and salad. The cooks are very good at the orphanage (which I am very thankful for!). The orphanage consists of three separate areas. The main house is where we spend our days with the little kids (2 and under), eat our meals, and go to church and then at night we go to the toddler house which is about a mile away from the main house. At night the staff drives us back to the toddler house which is so gracious and wonderful because it prevents us from walking in the dark. The staff here is wonderful and they have all been so accommodating and friendly.  Although the nannies (who live with the children and care for them 24/7) do not speak English…all the members of the GLA staff do which is comforting and nice because they can be our translators. Anyways, after we got dropped off at our house I was shown to my room and unpacked all of my things. It was so hot and I really started to feel dehydrated so I quickly drank some water and decided it was time to shower and go to bed (even though it was only 6:30 haha!). I passed out the first night and slept from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. I needed the rest after staying up for over 36 hours. It was a HUGE day filled with all kinds of interesting experiences but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. It amazes me how God uses something as small traveling to shape you into a better person. I am so thankful for all of your prayers and your sweet words as I left the U.S. You have no idea how much they all meant to me! I honestly felt a net of protection and support as I traveled and I have you all to thank for that! I don’t have internet access right at the moment, as it is only available at the main house, but I will post this as soon as possible! I love and miss you all so very much!

Be courageous!

It is so hard to believe that I will be leaving for Haiti in 4 days! These last few months have flown by so I can only imagine how quickly these 4 days will go. I graduated from Illinois Wesleyan University School of Nursing on April 29th and these past few weeks I have been preparing to take my NCLEX. I will be taking the NCLEX on Tuesday and I am extremely  nervous but I know that I am ready! It will be extremely nice to have my NCLEX done before I leave for Haiti so that I can really enjoy myself and focus while I am there. Again, I appreciate all the love and support that has been given to me. Without it I would not be where I am right now! I ask that you would pray for my health and my safety as I leave for Haiti this week. I also ask that you pray for peace for me as I take this crazy journey! Please also pray for the people in Haiti, especially the children I will be caring for. Last prayer request I promise :)....please pray for peace and health for my family and friends while I am in Haiti (especially for my dad because he is a nervous wreck!!!) I'm a little anxious about the traveling aspect of the trip but I am sure that once I am at the orphanage I will be safe and at ease! Although I'm nervous about this trip...I am also excited beyond belief!!! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me there. I hope to not only serve at the orphanage but really develop a stronger relationship with Him throughout this experience. It is challenging for me to completely put my anxieties aside and trust in Him but I know that He will watch over me and lead me throughout my trip. I will keep you all updated as often as possible (I'm not entirely sure about the internet/electricity situation but I believe I will have fairly regular access). I hope that you will be able to somewhat "travel" with me through this experience and enjoy it as much as I'm sure I will! I won't have any cell phone access so please e-mail me (hkelson@iwu.edu), write me a message on Facebook, or leave me a message here! I will miss everyone here very much and will love to hear from you all often :) 


I'm keeping Deuteronomy 31:6 close to my heart this week "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."


Love you all very much and I appreciate your love and prayers this week!!!


Holly 

Amazing love

It is hard to believe that in exactly 64 days I will be arriving in Haiti and officially beginning this amazing journey. When I first felt God nudging me toward the international mission field I was somewhat resistant. I thought that it would be too expensive, too time consuming, and impossible to fit into my senior year of college. Thankfully God wasn't put off by my lack of faith and he continued to "bother" me with stronger thoughts and feelings towards mission work. I was so excited when I finally decided to respond to Him and explore the volunteer opportunity presented to me but I quickly became overwhelmed with the cost and time commitment aspects of the trip. I expressed many of my doubts and concerns to my sweet aunt and she continually reminded me that God would make it possible and that I should surrender my doubts, fears, and anxieties to Him through prayer rather than trying to figure them out myself. Eventually she suggested I look up Philippians 4:6-7 (Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus) After referencing this verse for what seems like more than 100 times this year, I believe it is officially ingrained in my memory ! I think I will continue to need to draw wisdom and strength through this verse throughout the next few months (and probably the rest of my life!) Anyways, God of course showed me how silly I was to even worry. The only weeks that were available at the orphanage ended up working perfectly despite my schedule filled with graduation, job searching, and NCLEX preparation/examination. Most amazingly, God has led my family and close friends to bless me with AMAZING and CRAZY generous donations. I was afraid that I would not be able come up with all of the funds necessary for me to go on the trip ($1,600 seems more like $1,000,000 to a poor college kid!) but with prayer and faith God has shown me how incredibly awesome He is because as of earlier this week my donations exceeded $1,600!!!! What a blessing these donations will be for the children in the orphanage! I feel overwhelmingly loved and supported by my family and friends. It blows my mind how generous, loving, and supportive they have all been and continue to be. I'm also so happy, excited, and at peace with this trip knowing that I have so many people loving me and praying for me and the kiddos I'll be with in Haiti. I can't thank my supporters enough for everything they have done for me :) I am praying that God blesses each and every one of you for your generosity and wonderful hearts. I'm beyond blessed to have you in my life.

I'm so excited for this journey and I hope to keep everyone updated and involved throughout this process with this blog!  

Love you all :)

Holly